Miliardar na hrasku

Zajimave je, ze lide materialne opravdu bohati "nepracuji". Ti uz jen vhodne investuji a tim ukladaji a zaroven zvysuji svoje majetky.

Dalo by se rict, ze vydelavaji i kdyz odpocivaji, spi, jedi ci jedou na dovolenou.

Napadlo me, kdyz jsme jeli na kole podel kanalu Leeds-Liverpool, ze kdyz na zahradce roste hrasek, zatimco "driftuju" na kole a nijak se na procesu kliceni hrasku nepodilim, jsem vlastne taky investor.

Mam z toho radost.

Vcera ...

... byl statni svatek a dobry den!

Rano jsme si pujcili na letisti auto a vyrazili do Yorkshire-Dales.

Zajimave bylo, ze si ten den lide nejak vymenili role. Videli jsme mladou hezkou zenu opravovat a cistit auto, jina natirala plot, treti nesla velky tezky batoh ... a tak podobne.

Bylo to neco pro nas tak netypickeho jako rizeni auta s radici pakou na leve strane. Ale da se na to zvyknout.

Chytre deti ...

"Maji tady moc chytre deti. Tak male, a uz mluvi anglicky."

Jan

Laborator

Kdyz nam sousedi sdelili, ze nas dum predtim obyval mlady par s detmi, kde rodice vyucovali na Univerzite chemii, verili jsme jim to.

Plnou pravdu jsme pochopili, kdyz jsme hledali sklenicky. V prostoru na nadobi se totiz vyskytovaly pouze odmerne valce a kadinky.

Aby jsme si kazdy odlisili tu svoji, podepsali jsme si je.

Kdyz tedy pijeme pomerancovy dzus, pijeme zlutou tekutinu z kadinky s napisem NEGATIVNI + a POZITIVNI -.

Chutna to, clovek si zvykne.

Navrh ...

"Nemely by se na zacatku kazdeho zapasu kopat penalty a tim rozhodnout cely zapas mnohem drive? Toho casu a elektricke energie, co by se usetrilo ..."

Phil

Guinnessuv rekord:

5 kusu.

Dobrou hospodu vcera malem zborili ...

... oni ti Anglicani malem rozbijou hospodu, kdyz po letech vyhraje Liverpool FC Ligu Mistru nad AC Milan. Zvlaste kdyz prohraval 0:3 a i golem Smicera vyrovnal a nasledne vyhral penalty. Zazitek to byl a toho piva, co proteklo ...

No neni tenhle komentar poeticky? :

"Happy as Fuck, Ivo. Love it!"

Barry

Tisk ...

"Jdeme domu, vecer hraje Liverpool Ligu mistru a musime byt zitra v obraze ... na jak dlouho to jeste mas?"
"Jeste dvanact vykresu ... do zitra to musi byt vytisknute."
"No, tak to posli pres noc, ne?"
"No Nacelnik sice rikal, ze tiskarna za zadnych okolnosti nesmi byt pres noc zapnuta, kvuli pozaru to narizuji bezpecnostni predpisy ... ALE CO KDYBYCH TO NECHAL?"

Zaznam ...

... rozhovoru pri ceste okolo hrbitova pri Whitbey Abbey:

"Predstav si, ze po smrti se z mista tveho posledniho odpocinku stane turisticka atrakce ..."

"...a budou se ti nad hrobem fotit davy japonskych turistu, ... co?"

"Jooo, ale stejne je to lepsi nez byt egyptskou mumii a byt vystaveny nahaty v muzeu ..."

"Myslis jako: mit jednu cast nohy vystavenu v Parizi, druhou v Kahire ... treti v ... ?"

"Morbidni!"

Aby jsme ...

... na zitrejsi vylet k mori neprisli s prazdnou, rozhodli jsme se s Honzou udelat buchtu.

Naspod jsme dali tmave kakaove testo s orisky, na nej svetle testo s kandovanym ovocem, ktere se upeklo krasne dozlatova, az jsme byli prekvapeni, jak se to povedlo. Rozhodli jsme se to vylepsit cokoladovou polevou ... a kdyz jsem byl kupovat cokoladu na vareni, natocila se ke mne mlada hezka misenka s prosbou o radu, jakou mouku ma pouzit na cukrovi a jak vubec to ma udelat.

Asi jsem tu radost z peceni mel napsanou ve tvari, jinak si to nedovedu vysvetlit. Dobra buchta.

Podle statistik ...

... se 60 procent manzelstvi ve Velke Britanii rozvadi.

Kdyz tak clovek vidi v patek, v sobotu, ale i ve ctvrtek vecer ty maminy v minisukynkach a poloopile prometat kluby provokujic hladove poloopile chlapy ...

Videt ...

... na plazi v zatoce Robina Hooda traktor ZETOR CRYSTAL ... to zanecha na cloveku urcite hluboky dojem.


Dukaz

Napis z undergroundu ...

"The poorest is not the man without money, but the one without dreams."

"The goal is to have dreams with deadlines."

Taky ...

... mate nekdy pocit, ze jste na miste, kde jste se octli, uz nekdy drive byli? A pritom jste tam prokazatelne nebyli?

Stalo se mi to o vikendu v Londyne.

"In China ...

... there are 300.000.000 of young students of English language, which is 5 times more than UK´s population!" - BBC"

It is really cool, we will not need to learn Chinese language when China becames the great power!" Says Malcolm.

I shook ...

... my hand with Lord John Mackenzie, the 5th Earl of Cromartie.

I was ...

... thinking, where were the English factories. England has been the industrial country, the first on the wave of The Industrial Revolution, wasnt it? And - for example in Leeds - there are only several museums adapted from elder factories.

Maybe they are in East Europe, Asia ... or wherever.

Good for us, we can breath clean air!

Kdyz ...

se na jezdicich schodech libaji dva kluci ... neni to hezky pohled. Zvlaste, kdyz jim bylo okolo ctyriceti a tvarili se, jakoby se zrovna chteli snist.

The Camden town ...

... is really cool place! And the food there ... mmmm!!!

But not for a long time ... shopping is not my hobby.

Lahve piva

Cestou z bazenu jsem potkal na chodniku rozbitou bednu s pivy. Pet lahvi bylo neposkozenych. Tri jsem si vzal. Clovek se musi rozdelit s ostatnima ...

Tomorrow to London!

I dont know who had the bloody idea to meet in London ... especially when I havent been there so far ... but ... anyway ... lets see tomorrow!!!

... getting excited to play the popular English game hide-and-seek in da town!!!

...

Bloody details ...

Attention all Employee's :This is a General Announcement for your Pension Schemes!

Malcolm has sent me something what makes me thinking ... Thank you Malcolm!

:

Attention all Employee's: This is a General Announcement for your Pension Schemes!

Dear Employee:

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.

Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.

SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.

SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.

This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance), or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).

As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:

Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.

Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.

And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.

Adam a Eva

Vcera jsem dal dohromady Adama a Evu. Polskeho Zida a ceskou ateistku. Zajimave je, ze se oba narodili ve stejny den (myslim, ze ne ten Sesty), ale i tak premyslim, ze se asi stanu misionarem ...

Anebo profesionalnim hracem golfu. :-)

Barbeque

V sobotu jsme poradali barbeque. Pozvali jsme kolegy z prace a opekani na zahradce bylo fajn.

Jenom nevim, jestli byl nejlepsi napad Indovi nabizet hovezi maso, kdyz v Indii jsou kravy posvatne ... stejne v Tescu nic lepsiho nebylo a na obale bylo napsano: IDEAL FOR BBQ.

Nicmene snedl vse a pochvalil nase schopnosti. Dobry kluk.

Iv:o)

Ivo sekal travu

V nedeli jsem prvne v zivote sekal travu sekackou. Tato prace je totiz u nas doma domenou tatinka. Sekal jsem v Anglii a anglicky travnik.

Vcera se ke mne natocil soused Don a ptal se mne, proc jsem posekanou travu dal ke stromum. Rekl jsem mu, ze kvuli zivinam stromu. Na to Don rekl: "Good idea", usmal se a bude to delat taky. Jeste jsme meli delsi debatu o jeho nadhernem golfovem travniku, vedle ktereho ten nas vypada jako lesni kapradi, ale to uz neni tak zajimave.

Anglicani totiz vedou nevypsanou soutez o nejlepsi golfovy travnik v ulici, ve meste, hrabstvi, Anglii, celem kralovstvi az zemekouli.

Osobne tohle povazuji za svuj nejvetsi uspech v Anglii, vetsi nez detail odvodneni zakladu, ktery jsme nemohli mesic vyresit a vcera jsem jej dal s Johnovym uznanim dohromady.

Staci posekat travu a zivot je krasny!